Monday, April 11, 2011
Complicated Emotions
Sometimes I can't say what my emotions are, because I don't know the names by which they are called. On a superficial level they can be: anger, resentment, guilt, remorse, misery, sadness... But they are more than that. And when you mix them all together... I really don't know what you call it. I think of those toys we got as kids. Usually animals that stood on a small round platform. You could hold it in your hand and when you pushed the indent under the platform, the little animal would collapse. That's how I feel a lot of the time. Straight and tall one minute and crumpled the next.
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I think you've just named it perfectly Nicola ~ emotional collapse. But whatever it's called, it completely disables & can cause a person to feel utterly hopeless & incredibly dejected. I thought your example of the collapsing toy was brilliant ... I can see it crumpling & flopping as you press the button underneath it ... a wonderful example of an extremely wretched experience.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Peter.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is incredibly moving and well-written. I share so many of your feelings with the loss of our children although as you say, so much of it is like a puzzle I know I've been avoiding putting together. xx
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